Can I email you my request?Doh! No, of course not - its the Analogue Web Portal, silly. Write to us instead.
How to write a Letter
For this task you'll need:
- writing implement e.g. pen or pencil
- postage stamp or similar
- access to your local postal service
- top right of the paper: write your name & address
- just below that: put the current date
- a bit lower down on the left: write the name & address of who you're writing too
- under that: put the traditional salutation of your culture e.g. Dear Real Institute,
- under that: write all the other stuff you need to talk about
- add a bit of pleasant chit-chat, talk about what you've been up to recently or maybe how your sciatica is faring
- under that: : put the traditional sign-off phrase of your culture e.g. Yours faithfully,
- fold up the letter and put it in the envelope
- seal the envelope
- write the name and address of who you're writing to on the front of the envelope
- take it to the Post Office or your local equivalent
- put a postage stamp on it
- post it in a Post Box or your local equivalent
What do I put in my Letter?Tell us:
- where you want to go on the internet
- which service you want to use
- if using the Premium Service, which Expert you want to use
- something nice
- your payment
make sure you include all these things in your letter:
When do I pay you?Pay us when you send your first letter request. Requests without payment can't be processed. See Tariff for current rates.
Can't I get this service for free?Yes. Standard Service requests are currently being processed for free!
alternatively use these formats
Use one of the following request formats to ensure success:
- e.g. "please go to the following web site: www.BeeDressingDogs.com"
Interpretive Search (for more adventurous Surfers)
- e.g. "please take the following term and interpret it however you feel best: dogs dressed as bees"
- e.g. "please search for the following term in a search engine and select the top result: dogs dressed as bees -poodle"
- e.g. "please search for the following term in a search engine and select a website at random: dogs dressed as bees -poodle"
- e.g. "please search for the following term in a search engine and choose a website you like the look of: dogs dressed as bees -poodle"
Where does all the money go?
Standard ServiceThe small fees paid contribute to the running costs of the project.
No one gets paidStandard Service Experts work voluntarily for the sheer joy of making the internet a better place.
. No profit is madeReal Institute is a not-for-profit association - any surplus income helps make more great projects.